September 2011

I had an ex lover here who was bad, really bad.  I am not sure if I made him bad or allowed him to be bad or if I was just a co-dependant mess at the time.  Anyway, I had a bad man here in Tulum.  Let’s leave it at that.  And really here, that is not so extraordinary.  There are a more than a few to choose from.  

But there is a ying and a yang to everything, no?  Two sides to every story.  Or like in my yoga practice, one open hip and one more closed.  So, as bad as Amador was, he did somethings right.  For example, one night when I had family visiting and he was still stalking me, he came to my house at 3 a.m. with a not even month old puppy in his arms.  ”Amor, I save this baby for you”, he said with his eyes red from drink and drug and a smile on his face that melted my resolve to turn him away every single time.  Then he put the puppy in my arms saying, “You take him for me today?” and as he opened the door to leave, “I be back tomorrow.  You the best.  I never gonna leave you.”  And then he did, thank God.  He walked out the door and left me with this adorable, blond baby mutt.  I held the dog in my arms and then looked out after him but he had disappeared.  I may have said, “But”, but I don’t think so.  

I went to the fridge (I had a fridge back then) grabbed the milk and poured a glass for me and a bowl for my new friend.  My dog Lakra, most wonderful dog ever, by the way, drifted into the kitchen and looked at me and then the new puppy and then back at me, skeptically.  I poured her some milk as well and sat down on the floor with my two new dogs.  ”What will I do with this?”  I asked myself.  After a moment, I stood up, grabbed the empty cooler from the porch, put a blanket into it and then put the puppy inside.  I called to Lakra, who was more and more curious, and we went back to bed.

I woke the next morning wondering if it had been a dream.  But when I walked into the kitchen and heard a wimper, I knew it had not been.  I looked into the cooler and had to smile.  Lakra came to my side and looked in too.  I don’t think she smiled but she didn’t seem too annoyed.  I patted the sweet dogs head and shook mine.  Again, I asked myself, “what will I do with this?”  Just as I did my cousin came into the kitchen.  ”What ‘cha got there?” she asked as she looked over my shoulder.  ”How adorable!” she shrieked when she saw him.  ”Where did he come from?”  I responded, “Amador”.  ”Oh no.” she said, “when was he here?”  And I told her the drop in/drop dog story.  She laughed and said, “So like that train wreck.  He brings things he saves for you to save.”  And then, because my cousin is from California and should be a therapist, we broke into a litany of codependant themes and how abusive the whole thing was.  Then I said, “shall we go look for a home for him?”  ”Let’s just go to the beach”, my cousin said.  ”And”, she continued enthusiastically, “Lets take the dogs!”